“The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”
It all starts with those 2 magical lines on the pregnancy test revealing the happy news; the dreams and plans for what pregnancy, labor, and motherhood will all be like. You begin to register for your baby shower while figuring out whether you do or do not want delayed cord clamping on your birth plan. It will all go perfectly, right?
Although I do personally believe in birth plans as a way to help you prepare for your birth by knowing your options, I think it’s also important to realize birth plans are just that: a plan, not a guarantee of what actually happens. And dealing with what actually goes down at your birth may be harder than the actual birth itself. If you find yourself in the scenario where your “best laid plans” fell apart, either in small or big ways, at your birth, here are five suggestions on ways to cope:
All of these were steps I took to heal. I gave myself permission to grieve, I began to let go of the “what if’s” and the guilt, and I pursued doula work to try to help other women have happier births, whether or not their birth plan went according to plan. Motherhood is such a blessing but it can be so challenging too. And starting off motherhood with the feeling of failure because your birth plan fell apart is an awful feeling. Find ways to grieve and heal that work for you so you can move past the disappointment and be ready to face all the blessings and challenges motherhood has in store for you.
Birth Boot Camp Certified Doula (BBCD)