Dads Are Pregnant Too

Guest Blog Post by Bethany Melton, RN, BSN, CCBI, CD (DONA) of Boulder County Birth

  Dads play such a valuable role in pregnancy, labor, birth, and the postpartum period. Often times when we talk about these topics we are referring to the mom and her perspective. While clearly she is the one acting as the oven for their new child; dad is very much expecting as well.
  We’ve come so far from what dad’s role used to look like. I was discussing this was my husband’s 80 year old grandma recently. When I asked her, how did she do it all- literally. Clean, cook, raise the kids, have brand new babies- all with little to no help. Her response: we just did. Her husband had no time off work when she had new baby, she still had two other kids at home. It wasn’t until she had pneumonia with a brand new baby that her family doctor called her husband and told him he had to come home and take care of the kids. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be a part of things, it just “wasn’t the way it was done.”
  This makes me proud of how far we have come in including dads to be a part of this wonderful journey and process. Dad, when allowed to come into his role, is a vital part of the process and is himself, becoming a father. One of the reasons I love teaching Birth Boot Camp is that I feel like it fully equips and prepares dad to be emotionally, physically, and mentally supportive, no matter what the journey looks like. Now I realize that all dads won’t take this course; so here are a few things dad can do to prepare himself throughout the process.

1. Feel your Feelings- dads need to allow themselves time and space to process through a pregnancy and new baby, just like mom does. Whether or not dad is able to verbally process, or he needs to go golfing with his buddies- giving dad the space to feel his feelings is so important
2. Be with her- sometimes the most supportive thing dad can do throughout pregnancy, labor, birth and postpartum is to just be with mom. You may not be able to fix the issue she is having with breastfeeding. But, you can watch the MRE video with her, you can help her find a lactation consultant, and you can sit with her and just be with her, she will sense your love and support in your presence.
3. Say No- Dad is mom’s first line of defense. Dad can create a peaceful environment in the labor room by not allowing unwelcome audiences. He can make sure that in the first few weeks those that come to visit are coming with a purpose. (i.e. help with the laundry, bring a meal, etc.) Dad is the gatekeeper. If he senses mom is needing sleep or space- which most new moms do- he can facilitate that for her.  

  Dad’s role in the birthing process has greatly changed for the better. There is no need to feel overwhelmed, helping in a few simple ways can allow for your family to bond and grow closer through the process. When a child is born, not only a mother, but a father is born as well.

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Bethany has been an RN since 2011 and has worked in various healthcare settings, including Boulder Community Health. She graduated from Seattle Pacific University with her Bachelors in Nursing and a minor in cross cultural studies. Transitioning to the doula profession has been a very natural part of her journey. From an early age, she found herself intrigued and curious about pregnancy and the birth process. She has been trained through DONA as a labor and birth doula, and has had the privilege of being a part of many birth stories. The journey continued as she became a certified Childbirth Instructor through Birth Boot Camp. She has a passion for educating moms and their families in order to support them in the birth of their dreams. She is so pleased to be able to offer childbirth education classes and birth doula services in Boulder County and the surrounding areas! 
Bethany is a Colorado girl at heart and a lover of the outdoors. Outside of the birth world, you will find her enjoying life with her two kids and her blue heeler, Lincoln.

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